Thursday, February 16, 2012


This Valentine's Day James surprised me with a one pound box of hand-picked chocolates from Cummings. I surprised him with the news that the veterinarian recommended we euthanize the dog.

After all is said and done, I am just really, really sorry.

I am sorry to my children, who love animals. I am sorry to Wesley who doesn't understand where his puppy playmate is; much less why she is gone. I am sorry to McKenna who cried when we told her, and who now tells everyone, "We don't have a dog no more. She went to heaven." I am sorry to JJ, who loved to hold Missy and laughed when she licked his face.

I am sorry to James for buying a cute dog that he fell in love with. He always saw the very best in her, and never gave up on trying to help her be better. I am sorry for the hundreds of dollars that I spent on her. I am sorry that I have caused more emotions for him to repress (probably the reason for the migraines.)

I am sorry for myself. I am sorry that although I prayed and prayed to find the right dog for our family, I didn't get the revelation I was looking for. I am sorry that I am now one of 'those people.' I am sorry that I won't have a dog for a while. Life is hard when you don't have a furry little dog to snuggle up with at the end of the day.

Most of all, I am sorry to Missy. I am sorry that you didn't go to a family who might have compensated for your poor breeding. I am sorry if you were in pain. I am sorry that you were so scared all the time. I am sorry that you spent so much time in your kennel. I am sorry that your life was so short. I'm sorry that I didn't love you more. I tried. Really, I did.