As Requested

I thought I'd post a little bit about this pregnancy, and show you what I look like at 7 months. A couple of weeks ago at enrichment, someone told me that I still don't look pregnant. I get this a lot- especially when I have on a coat or jacket. I'm never sure how to take these comments because...really?? Do I really look like this when I'm not pregnant???

In these pictures I'm wearing a tighter shirt so it should be obvious!










And yes, this baby is a BOY! We are so excited! I can never remember what I've said on Facebook and what I've said on the blog but it isn't a secret. I have been going through all of JJ's tiny little baby clothes and can't wait to use them again. There is nothing better than a new little baby. I think it is my favorite phase and it goes away so quickly. I know that this baby will eventually be getting into everything, throwing tantrums, and running all over the place- they all do! This just makes me enjoy the tiny baby days even more- even with all the sleepless nights. It is just a sweet, special time.

We have a name picked out, but James likes to keep it a secret until the baby is born.

We had a wonderful Easter Sunday. We stayed home all day and watched conference, had a lot of good food, let the kids eat WAY too much Easter candy, did puzzles, and just enjoyed being together. I don't remember the last time the four of us were all home for the whole day together. I'm feeling a lot better about things. Sometimes you just need a day off! 10 more days to go!!!

I hope that everything is going well for all of my friends and family in the blogosphere!

An Update

I have neglected my blog for a long time! So I thought I'd give an update.

Marianne:

Lately I've been incredibly stressed out about having enough time for all of the obligations and projects that I am in the middle of. I am scanning and organizing all of the Brown family photos clear back from 1970, I've been called as the 2nd counselor in the primary presidency, and then there's always the bills, cooking, cleaning, teaching JJ's joy school, etc. It just never ends. There are so many things that I can only do once the kids are in bed which leaves me with very little free time. James is almost never able to help me with anything at home or with the kids because of tax season. And once tax season is over, I'll be probably be nesting like a maniac and then I'll have a new little baby to take care of. I have missed going to the ward book group, I feel guilty that I can't attend all the meetings that I'm supposed to for my calling, and I feel just plain isolated. When your husband is a tax accountant, that is just a part of your life and you have to get used to doing everything by yourself. I know that I am lucky to have a husband who has a good job that he generally enjoys doing. And I know that there are women who really are single moms- That has got to be the hardest job ever. So I know that I really don't have it that bad. I'm trying to remember that at this time of year.

I spent most of this last week in St. George visiting my Dad and Jane. For three nights in a row I didn't have to make dinner which pretty much qualifies as the best vacation ever! My Dad went shopping with me at the outlets and helped to wrangle the kids so that I could shop, and the next day Jane watched them for a couple hours so that I could get out for a while on my own. It was a MUCH needed break!

My pregnancy is going well and I'm generally feeling great. Of course there is always the heartburn, tired feet, inability to bend over, etc. But as soon as I feel a little knobby elbow or knee moving across my stomach, or feel those tiny hiccoughs, I am reminded of what a miracle pregnancy is. I never want to take it for granted. I know how lucky I am and wish that every woman could have this experience.

James:

James has been working 12 hour days and is seriously burned out. When he comes home from work he changes, eats, and then studies for the CPA exam. He is such a hard worker and I love him so much for this. He is a wonderful provider for our family. We're all looking forward to April 15th, but once it comes he has warned me that he will still be staying late and going in on Saturdays to study. He will take the last section of the CPA exam in May and then will go out of town on an audit for a week three days later. We hope that things will calm down in June so that we can get ready for the arrival of our baby.

JJ:

JJ has gotten over a bad illness from a couple of weeks ago and had a great time in St. George. He got to play outside in the nice weather, make fires with grandpa, play with toys, catch ants in the driveway, blow bubbles, flew airplanes with grandpa, make forts with grandma, and eat LOTS of junk food! A four year old's dream come true! As we came home and pulled into the garage, he asked if we could go back to grandpa's house. He is a cute boy, and we love him. (And he has just informed me that conference makes him feel boring- we'll get out the play doh.)

He is growing and maturing and getting better at so many things. I am so happy to say that we no longer need to buy pull-ups for him. I was totally planning on buying three sets of diapers this June, but am thrilled that this won't be the case.(Although I'm still holding on to a bit of cautious disbelief.) He has done a lot of hard work, and I'm proud of him.

McKenna:

McKenna is also feeling better from her ear infection/cough/fever thing from a couple weeks ago. And she also had a great time in St. George. She loved running outside by herself and sitting on the patio furniture and running across the rocks in the backyard. She always wants to be independent and do her own thing, and since we could see her from the windows, we let her go in and out all she wanted. She was in heaven!

She is talking more and more, and we are having a fun time trying to figure out what she is saying, and repeating her mispronunciations. It is just a really cute age. We have found that when she is around men (except for daddy) she becomes totally mute. In nursery she doesn't say anything. Ever. This is so funny, because at home she talks a blue streak.

I hope to update more often, but won't make any promises!

McKenna's Birthday

We celebrated McKenna's 2nd birthday earlier this month!


We indulged her balloon obsession.


The butterfly cake was a great success thanks to the advice I got from James' Mom: Freeze the cake just before frosting it and it won't crumble. Thanks, Ma!




Opening Presents.





McKenna got: Some Little Miss books, (Thanks, Nana and Grandpa!) a shopping cart, a see and say, the little mommy playset with a baby, and some play food.



My Mom came over later in the week with some more presents! A piano with a microphone from Grandpa Brown and Grandma Jane, and a trike from my Mom. She loves them both!

Christmas Day

I feel like a really bad mom because as I sat down to start blogging about Christmas, I realized that there is not a single picture of JJ opening or playing with his presents on Christmas morning! :( We did get it all on video, though. Sorry, JJ! He did get lots of cool toys: a transformer, a bionicle, racetracks for his hot wheels, a couple board games like Hungry Hungry Hippos and Elefun. We had a great morning.

Santa Came!

Here is JJ's bowling set that he got from Santa. As soon as the kids came downstairs, they immediately started fighting over it. And we were worried that JJ would feel bad that he didn't get a big playhouse like McKenna!


The Rose Petal Cottage has been a big hit!





Santa even remembered Sparky



We always go to my Mom's for lunch on Christmas Day. All of the cousins come too- it's a lot of fun!






Moms on Christmas. We were worn out!

The Brown Family Christmas Party

On the 26th we had our annual Brown Family Christmas Party!




We gave my Dad a book of all of our family pictures from 1970 to 1979.






We sang Happy Birthday to JJ. He was really shy about it, but you could tell he really loved it too.


McKenna got an Elmo from Grandma and Grandpa Brown. He sings the ABC's which is perfect for her. She has been learning the alphabet and can recognize and pronounce most of the letters now.



She calls the Elmo toy "Melmo." And she loves her Melmo. He has joined her entourage of 'gigi's- her blankie, bunnie, and chocolate milk are all gigi's too.

JJ Turns 4

Happy Birthday to my big boy yesterday. He had a great time and kept saying, "This is the best birthday, EVER!"

I like my sister's idea of not doing friend birthday parties until they are 5, so we didn't do one with his little friends this year. Honestly, that's one part of parenthood that I am dreading: friend birthday parties. Not my idea of a good time.

Another thing that I'm not so excited about? Making cakes that are not in the shapes of squares or rectangles. Here is my first attempt at making something different. Frosting it was such an ordeal that I was about ready to throw the whole thing out the window. Luckily, James stepped in and finished it before I got to that point.





James lifted the balloon ban and I think that was a good thing. McKenna didn't care at all that JJ was opening presents. I swear, to her, balloons are like crack.



JJ was really happy with all of his presents. Each year his Nana and Grandpa in South Dakota give him some of the Mr. Men books for his birthday and Christmas. I think that by next year he will have the whole set. (McKenna gets the Little Miss ones from them too.) Missing from the picture are the Bionicle and Viewfinder from my Mom.


We let him stay up late to play with his toys. He had so much fun. And I will admit it: I've always wanted a viewfinder.


In the meantime, we're all looking forward to James coming home from work so that I don't have to be a Bionicle while JJ is a Transformer. That's what dads are for. (And brothers. Maybe JJ will get one of those this year.)

What's Important

Several months ago I overheard a conversation between two women in my ward. They were discussing how many children they were planning on. “I want 3,” said one. “I want three too, but my husband wants four,” said the other. Of course when I heard this conversation, I wondered to myself about how many children I would have. Actually, I think about this ALL the time. I always have- even as a little girl I would obsess about this. You would have thought that once I started having children that this constant fixation on having more children would have dissipated. It hasn’t.


When I heard those women talking, my head heard the words, three children and thought, “Hey that would be really nice. You would only have to go through one more pregnancy, one more labor and delivery, one more year of breastfeeding, and three more years of diapers. You would have more money, would be able to start going on vacations, get out of debt sooner, and have more disposable income. You could go back to school sooner; you could have a career, and begin to develop a sense of identity as a regular adult in society instead of one as a person who wipes noses and butts all day. In a few years you could go to bed at a decent hour, and wake up 8 hours later feeling refreshed and ready for the day. It would be easier to go out for dinner every now and then, go on a date, go to the grocery store, or really, to go Anywhere! Your body would have less stretch marks, probably be in better shape by avoiding those extra hard to lose pounds that pregnancy seems to inflict upon us, and your boobs maybe won’t sag to the point that you’ll have to tuck them into your pants.” Well, ok, my boobs are already a lost cause, but I digress.

INSTANTLY, and I mean, even as my logical self is thinking this, my heart yells NOOOOOO! I’m supposed to have more. I know it. I don’t see myself as the most spiritual person, but this is one thing that I am absolutely sure of. My kids are missing some siblings. The fact that they aren’t here yet, gives me the most unsettled feeling; to the point that my whole frame of reference revolves around when I will be having another baby. I can just see my children still stuck up there in the pre-existence, singing to each other in tacky costumes, “Don’t forget your promise!”

I don’t ever want to have more kids than I really feel like taking care of even if I was prompted to do it. I don’t want the older kids to feel responsible for the younger ones all the time. I don’t want the younger ones to feel like they were cheated out of having parents who had enough time and energy for them. I don’t want to lose my identity as a person. I want to have as many kids as I am happy taking care of. And I really hope that the number of children I am happy to raise is the same number of children that I feel are supposed to come to our family. Right now the number in my head is 4 kids. (???) But you never know what will happen in life, and that number could definitely change.

I think it is really sad when there is a family who didn’t have as many children as they wanted, and always feel bad about it. And I think it’s just as sad when families have so many children because they felt it was the ‘right’ thing to do, but the parents are completely overwhelmed in basically every way. There are certain people who have the right temperament to have really big families. I know I’m not one of them! You really have to let go of a lot of control in your life when you have that many kids, and I’m too much of a control freak.

Anyway, I’ve been rambling, but the point of all this is that James and I are absolutely thrilled to announce our third baby expected June 25th, 2010. I am really glad that we are telling people, because I can’t suck in my stomach anymore!

One thing’s for sure:

It’s gonna be a hell of a time, James!

(If you get that reference, then you and me can be friends.)